182. 07/03/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: It’s much easier to declare independence than it is to give freedom to my neighbor.

181. 07/02/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Thomas Jefferson had slaves. John Adams hated slavery. Patrick Henry was a family man. Benjamin Franklin was a ladies’ man. The only thing these four men had in common was that they decided to live lives without fear–or tyranny.

180. 07/01/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: America became great with the tireless effort of people who didn’t insist they were great.

179. 06/30/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: If people piss you off, urine trouble.

178. 06/29/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Hope is what we use when we want to fool life into believing we’re not scared.

177. 06/28/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: When God says “they’re only human,” He is thinking about Jesus.

176. 06/27/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: The end of the world begins when we discount what is valuable.

175. 06/26/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: If God has a bad day and feels insecure, does He consider atheism?

174. 06/25/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: CATSCAN (def.): when your pet stares at you, sneering, instead of responding to your numerous requests for companionship.

173. 06/24/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: A careful inspection of my daily activity is the best evidence for the need of God’s grace

172. 06/23/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I saw God at McDonald’s. He was eating a Big Mac. I was greatly comforted that it wasn’t a salad.

171. 06/22/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I have one question about heaven. Do angels laugh? If not, I would not be welcome.

170. 06/21/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: God gives you friends to apologize for your brothers and sisters.

169. 06/20/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Life is full of rewrites, shooting new scenes, editing, learning lines and close-ups. Unfortunately, there are no stunt doubles.

168. 06/19/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Timing demands, more often than not, that we shut up instead of speak.

167. 06/18/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Welcome to Catland. Population: none of your business. Town motto: Revel in our indifference.

166. 06/17/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Father’s Day is one of those occasions when you realize all the things you should have done and you are blessed because miraculously, no one noticed.

165. 06/16/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I had seven young men call me “Dad.” Now all eight of us share one Father.

164. 06/15/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: One of the interesting things about meeting Jesus is that you find out he’s not very religious.

163. 06/14/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Bonaroo is to Woodstock what an all-you-can-eat baked beans buffet is to a fresh salad bar.

162. 06/13/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Owning a cat is like being ignored by your teenage daughter, who is wearing earbuds–except she actually uses the toilet instead of crapping in a box.

161. 06/12/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Offended people become defensive. So they go on the offensive, offending others.

160.06/11/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I shot an arrow into the air … and murdered an unsuspecting cloud.

158. 06/09/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: God is like my dog because He still believes in me, even when I don’t show up with a treat.

157. 06/18/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Give me liberty or give me death… I’m still waiting for a third option.

156. 06/07/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I laughed at myself, which caused people to want to be near my chuckle and opened the door to my repentance.

155. 06/06/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: The trouble with being smart is that people often complain about being aggravated at you because your intelligence has become aggravating. Don’t give up. It’s better than being dumbfounded.

154. 06/05/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Revival assumes that we experienced life in the first place.

153. 06/04/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I observed a homosexual male watching the television show, THE BIGGEST LOSER, and mocking the fat folks in their plight, while simultaneously insisting that HE was “born this way.” Caution, dear brother. Balance, gayhoper.

152. 06/03/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Often the truth must be hunted down because we have banished it from our sight due to our laziness and embarrassment.

151. 06/02/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: No one worships the king quietly. So why do we give God the silent treatment?

150. 06/01/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Temptation is when I’ve already decided what I want to do and have maneuvered myself to a place to get it done.

149. 05/31/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: An argument is when a discussion stops listening.

148. 05/30/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: A one-trick pony must keep the performance brief.

147. 05/29/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: A Republican is a Democrat who recently went grocery shopping. A Democrat is a Republican who got tired of plucking the fruits out of the vegetables.

146. 05/28/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Does the cannibal eat Edward because he’s Edible?

145. 05.27/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Practicing what you preach does not guarantee Carnegie Hall.

144. 05/26/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: A comedy of errors is a series of mishaps with serious overtones. An error of comedies if Fox Primetime.

143. 05/25/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Confidence is when you let your teenager have access to the Internet. Intelligence is when you check out his browser.

142. 05/24/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Some people debate whether our forefathers were good Christians. That’s easy. Just ask their slaves.

141. 05/23/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Religion is to God what Muzak is to rock and roll.

140. 05/22/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: If I manage to cough up a fur ball, will you scoop my poop and pet me?

139. 05/22/13 JONATHOTS, JR.:  Humor should make people laugh together instead of laughing at others in ignorance.

138. 05/20/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Grace is when God grants me what I want, but don’t deserve. Mercy is when I do the same for others.

137. 05/19/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: The more I praise God, the more He praises me and the more we create a praise worthy world.

136. 05/18/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I have learned more by loving my enemies than I ever did laughing with my friends.

135. 05/17/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Terminating a caterpillar kills a butterfly.

134. 05/16/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Talking should be applied when listening registers silence.

133. 05/15/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Spirituality is to morality as air is to the lungs.

132. 05/14/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Dogs don’t dump their trash. On the other hand, kitties litter.

131. 05/13/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Darkness grows when the light is frightened by the shadows.

130. 05/12/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I am the best chance God has to convince the world of His existence.

129. 05/11/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Most of the time I realize that sometimes I am needing to be grateful all the time.

128. 05/10/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Heaven is a lot like me on a good day, enjoying my life instead of over-analyzing it.

127. 05/09/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Music touches my heart. Mercy ministers to my spirit. Knowledge challenges my brain. Exercise rejuvenates my body. Touched, ministered to, challenged, rejuvenated.

126. 05/08/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Sometimes I get grouchy because I forget how blessed I am to still be around.

125. 05/07/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Squirrels make me laugh. Deer cause me to marvel. Mirrors make me reflective.

124. 05/06/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Sometimes I sit because I need to observe. On other occasions I walk because there is a need. Then there are times to stand–when a beauty needs preserved or a truth maintained. Being spiritual is knowing when to sit, walk and stand.

123. 05/05/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: People were not made for church. The church was made for people.

122. 05/04/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I used to love people because God told me to do so. Now I know God by loving people.

121. 05/03/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Jesonian is when we are more concerned about how Jesus thinks than we are about going to heaven.

120. 05/02/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Caring is when worry implements a good idea.

119. 05/01/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: To all the feline favorers: remember, being catty is not a compliment.

118. 04.30.13 JONATHOTS, JR.: By the time we realize we have come of age, we’re too old.

117. 04/29/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I love to watch as people find out that it’s acceptable to be human. It is the day they discover God.

116. 04/28/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Faith holds a party. Hope brings the ice. Love volunteers to be the clean-up crew.

115. 04/27/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: If you butter both sides of your bread, you will never again have to worry about which side your bread is buttered.

114. 04/26/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: You change a diaper because it stinks. You change your life because you’re fed up with wearing a diaper.

113. 04/24/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: It is too bad that PERfect and perFECT are spelled the same. They aren’t.

112. 04/23/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: People who are obsessed with money rarely have any.

111. 04/22/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: This is the Earth Day that the Lord hath made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

110. 04/21/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Peter wasn’t supposed to walk on the water and neither are you. Take it easy. Learn to swim.

109. 04/20/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I have watched someone die slowly and I have observed another dying quickly. There is nothing glorious about it. Pursue life.

108. 04/19/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Just the other day, a woman called me a ‘stupid ass.’ I wondered, since we had just met in a traffic jam, how she knew me so well.

107. 04/18/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: People who are afraid of simple are very complicated.

106. 04/17/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Criticism is when you disagree with me. Wisdom is when I disagree with you.

105. 04/16/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: How could the end be near? Did I miss the beginning??

104. 04/15/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: The only way to get the crap out of yourself is to allow life to scare it out of you.

103. 04/14/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Committees were convened to avoid making decisions. Decisions were instituted to avoid committees.

102. 04/13/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I laughed until I cried. Now to learn to cry until I laugh.

101. 04/12/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Taking anything for granted is granting permission for it to be taken.

100. 04/11/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Out of the abundance of the mouth, the foot finds a home.

99. 04/10/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Every day fear and faith knock on your door. Ask which it is before you open.

98. 04/09/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: The definition of restraint: taking more than four bites to eat a candy bar.

97. 04/08/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: If only God can make a tree, then who makes weeds that look like me?

96. 04/07/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: The value of prayer is equivalent to the fervency of care.

95. 04/06/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Finding the cure for cancer might be speeded up if the researchers were infected, working on a personal deadline.

94. 04/05/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I don’t need to be a treetop lover, just grant me the courtesy of being somehow involved.

93. 04/04/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I think it’s terrific that Jesus came to save the Republicans and sinners–except today, we call the latter Democrats.

92. o4/03/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Cats are brats. Me-OW. We get it. It’s all about you and your pain.

91. 04/02.13 JONATHOTS, JR.: To become who I want to be, I have to first admit who I am.

90. 04/01/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: On the day after Christmas, we return the gifts we don’t want. The day after Easter, God returns the gift we need.

89. 03/31/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Easter is to faith what air is to a balloon.

88. 03.30/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: You can’t get a resurrection if you don’t bury something that’s dead.

87. 03/29/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: On this good Friday, Jesus would be completely safe in America. For after all, Congress would never be able to “nail down” the deal.

86. 03/28/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I dreamed I was asleep, until I woke up just as I was dozing off.

85. 03/27/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Mercy is a magical gift that multiplies in our heart as we give it away.

84. 03/26/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Guns don’t kill people. People don’t kill people. People with guns kill people.

83. 03/25/13 JONATHOTS, JR.:  Springtime should bring the realization that theres no excuse for remaining cold.

82. 03/24/13 JONATHOTS, JR.:  The second coming of Christ?? I still haven’t gotten over the first one!

81. 03/23/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: There is no such thing as a DOGastrophe. It is always a CATastrophe.

80. 03/22/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Manners are when you take your hat off in church. Church is when you tip your hat to God.

79. 03/21/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: If God is dead, someone still needs to love the world.

78. 03/20/13 JONATHOTS, JR.:  The Catholics have selected a new Pope to wear the ruby red slippers. How Oz.

77/. 03/19/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Laughing is best done in the mirror.

76. 03/18/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Our total value is what we add in talent, multiplied by our love, minus our fear and divided by our prejudice.

75. 03/17/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Tell God where it hurts. Because of Jesus, He remembers.

74. 03/16/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Faith grows when hope needs more love.

73. 03/15/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: The cockroach is a reminder to all of us that being smart is often not as beneficial as knowing when to run for cover.

72. 03/14/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: She died of an overdose at twenty-seven. So why are we still making jokes about drug abuse?

71. 03/13/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Keep in mind–there is no such thing as a dog burglar.

70. 03/12/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: The future is up to me.

69. 03/11/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: If God and Satan come as a package deal, it might explain the interest in atheism.

68. 03/10/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: You know spring is near when your sweater is making you sweat.

67.03/09/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I could probably be an atheist if it weren’t so god-awful.

66. 03/08/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Betting at the track is a horse race. Betting on people is the human race.

65. 03/07/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Family is anyone who cares enough not to love us just the way we are.

64. 03/06/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I guess if I were a cucumber, my best opportunity would be to get into a pickle.

63. 03/15/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Prejudice is not a philosophy. It is the absence of experience.

62. 03/04/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Worry happens when we hold a meeting with our thoughts and feelings and don’t invite our spirit.

61. 03/03/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Jesus said to go into your closet to pray. When you come out of your closet, are you gay??

60. 03/02/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: In what image of God were we formed, if not to be creative?

59. 03/01/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: People still practice “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” An excellent argument for gun control.

58. 02/26/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: A new Pope. Classic oxymoron.

57. 02/25/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Everything sucks. Change is scary. Make up your mind.

56. 01/24/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Does anybody else think sex is funny? (If not, please ignore the question.)

55. 02/24/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Confidence is when others confirm your work. Conceit brags alone.

54. 02/23/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Values should always be prepared to confirm that they are truly valuable.

53. 02/21/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: End of the world. Going out of business. Seventy per cent off of all merchandise. Everything must go.

52. 02/20/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: My life is the only acceptable way to prove my point.

51. 02/19/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: 8 out of 90 people feel outnumbered.

50. 2/18/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: We swat flies and admire butterflies. Why? They both fly. I guess it’s just that butterflies don’t walk through so much crap before they visit us.

49. 2/17/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: The church is being held hostage by religion. We welcome all lovers of people to come and rescue her.

48. 2/16/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Love, loving, lovely. The right order.

47. 2/15/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: Grouchy is what appears when you disappoint Tired and Faith is far from its pew.

46. 2/13/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: I am as powerful as my unconfessed weakness.

45. 2/12/13 JONATHOTS, JR.: The opposite of opposite is always the same.

44. JONATHOTS JUNIOR: Two out of three people in the world find one person disagreeable.

43. JONATHOTS JUNIOR: Politics is where religious people escape when they get tired of wearing black.

42. JONATHOTS, JR.: All belief is not equal unless it allows for all to be equal.

41. JONATHOTS JR.: I complained about buying shoes until I saw a man with no legs. I thought, “Wow… what he must save on pants…”

40. JONATHOTS, JR.: Viagra has manufactured a historical phenomenon–an uprising of old men.

39. JONATHOTS JR.: Talented people don’t talk about talent. They display it.

38. JONATHOTS JR.: Laughter is what we do when crying is impractical.

37. JONATHOTS JR.: Learn what life has to offer–then offer to life what you have learned.

36. JONATHOTS, JR.: I observed a frog hopping across the road. I was inspired by the energy. Then a truck zoomed by and squashed the little fellow. Alas, I mused, laziness IS good.

35. JONATHOTS, JR.: If the truth makes you free, then lying is solitary confinement.

34. JONATHOTS, JR.: Three helpful hints: Animals are not people. People are not animals. God is not mean.

33. JONATHOTS, JR.: Seven out of thirteen people have a difficult time coming up with an acceptable fraction.

32. JONATHOTS, JR.: If the truth makes you free, then lying is solitary confinement.

31. JONATHOTS, JR.: I deem a created Creator preferable to a rejected Rejector.

30. JONATHOTS, JR.: The cost of doing things well is usually half the price of doing them again.

29. JONATHOTS. JR.: Terrorists are children who break the bat because someone just hit a home run.

28. JONATHOTS, JR.: The Lord’s Prayer begins with “Our Father,” letting us know that we are certainly in this together.

27. JONATHOTS, JR.: Three helpful hints: Animals are not people. People are not animals. God is not mean.

26. JONATHOTS, JR.: Last night I dreamed I died and went to the Judgment Seat of God, and was confronted by millions of skeet, waiting to heap their vengeance on me.

25. JONATHOTS, JR.: I mailed a letter to God, demanding He change the world. It came back, “Return to sender.”

24. JONATHOTS, JR.:
When the goal is winning, we learn to cheat.
When the goal is to be right, we learn to lie.
When the goal is to learn, we find a right way to win.

23. JONATHOTS JUNIOR: Two out of three people in the world find one person disagreeable.

22. JONATHOTS JUNIOR: Would it be possible to secretly move the Middle East to the Far East–maybe late one Friday night??

21. JONATHOTS JUNIOR: Sex is really sexy when feeling comes from feelings.

20. JONATHOTS JR.: A musical about France where people are miserable. I can understand that.

19. JONATHOTS, JR.: As walk is to run, so patience is to prosperity.

18. JONATHOTS, JR.: The last time you were really happy was the first time you were headed for heaven.

17. JONATHOTS JR.: Time ticks me off.

15. JONATHOTS JR.: I went to church looking for God and discovered He was on sabbatical.

14. JONATHOTS JR.: I went to church looking for God and discovered He was on sabbatical.

13. JONATHOTS, JR.: Happiness is finding doors in blackened rooms even when we are afraid to move.

12. JONATHOTS, JR.: If sex didn’t feel so good, I contend we just might prefer pets over petting.

11. JONATHOTS, Jr.: The difference between men and women is what welcomes the similarities.

10. JONATHOTS, JR.: It is so much easier to drive away when you feel driven.

9. JONATHOTS, JR.: Finishing the course is finding your source and walking through remorse.

8. JONATHOTS, JR.: Old friends have a mission to stay new.

7. JONATHOTS, JR.: Watching people kiss is a reminder that we were created to be excited.

6. JONATHOTS, JR.: The Super Bowl is to football as the sunrise is to God.

5. JONATHOTS. JR.: If the opposite of fear is love, then the opposite of hate is trust.

4. JONATHOTS, JR.: Give more than you take–live more than you hope

3. JONATHOTS, JR.: When I was a child, I spoke as a child. Now that I’ve become a man … well, pretty much the same.

2. JONATHOTS JR.: On the seventh day of His creation God rested. And invented church, where we could sleep.

1. JONATHOTS, JR.: You can’t download a spiritual awakening and you can’t text a touch from God. You gotta BE there.